around lunchtime on Wednesday, the 21st of December 2005 by defkhan1

Based on a true story…that happened today…like an hour ago…for real…no, I mean it…

Once upon a time there was a simple white collar warrior who wanted nothing more than to have some bubbly potion or another to quench his thirst and invigorate his soul.  His back, injured in an earlier quest(See The Quest To Bring the Outside Tree To the Inside As a Pagan Tribute), was feeling a bit better, so this man took up his +70 Change of Buying and began the hike toward the town of Vendia Machinus.

When he reached the first crossroads, he was confronted with a multi-leveled lifting device.  He was familiar with these and proceeded to show the operator a single finger, choosing to get off at the first level above.  The device lifted him up, after a sudden lurch, and proceed to move up very slowly.  More slowly than normal, and our hero could not see how high he actually was for the protective chain curtain obscuring his view.

When the lift stopped and the curtain withdrew, he was amazed to find himself on the third level.  This was an inconvenience, he thought.  It is good that he knew an alternate route around the Officious Wood, down the mountain trail, and around the Halls of Eating, to Vendia Machinus.

His back wasn’t feeling better any more…in fact, he figured he would need to see the healer upon his return to his hobbicle.

When he got into the heart of Vendia Machinus, he approached the potion dealer and presented him with his Change of Buying.  The vendor guffawed.

“You must have the exact buff on your Change of Buying for me to sell you a potion.”

Our hero’s Change of Buying was +70…he required +65.  So back to his hobbicle he went, cursing the gods for his misfortune.  He consulted a mystic he knew and had his +70 Change of Buying changed into what he needed, with the excess to be applied for some future endeavour.  Again he left for Vendia, this time avoiding the Lift altogether and taking the mountain path.  He arrived in town again and approached the vendor.

” I have the exact Change of Buying you require.  May I purchase a Pepsican Refreshment Potion?”

“You may not.”

“Do you mock me, kind sir?”

“I do not”, the vendor replied,” I do not take Change of Buying in denominations of five.”

“And just why not!?!”, our hero fumes.

“Because.”

Rebuked once again, our hero makes his way back to Cubica, into his hobbicle, and consults a visiting friend, who happens also to be a mystic changer.  He gathers his newly acquired Change if Buying, now consisting of +25 and four +10’s, then angrily makes his way back to Vendia.

He approaches the vendor, confirms he has the correct denominations, and makes the purchase.  The Pepsican Refreshment Potion makes its way through the Chute of Deliverance and into the Basket of Grabbing Your Purchases From, and into our hero’s waiting hands…

Back to Cubica he goes, and to his humble hobbicle.  He sits down and breaks the seal on his refreshment.

“Life is about the journey.”, he thinks, whilst absorbing the day’s hardships with a gleam of comedic joy, his back aching from the journey.

At this he reels in horror.

He has actually gotten a Pepsican Refreshment Potion Flavored Liquer of Slimming!